No one can
predict how the call will come or if it will.
When God called out to me, I admit, I was
frightened, the years and scripture have helped
me to work through this fear. Throughout
Scripture one thing appears certain: The call
from God comes with a purpose that serves
others.
For Moses it was
the giving of the Ten Commandments that shaped a
community, for Isaiah it was to lead the people out
of exile, and in modern history God called Dr. Rev.
Martin Luther King Jr. and gave him a dream.
The essence of his
dream was captured in his speech, and in part reads:
“that one day this nation will rise up and live out
the true meaning of its creed: We hold these truths
to be self-evident, that all men [human kind] are
created equal.”
This dream was
his true calling. He was to fulfill his dream, his
calling through service as he explained in his
sermon The Drum Major Instinct.
“If any of you are
around when I have to meet my day, I don’t want a
long funeral. And if you get somebody to deliver the
eulogy, tell them not to talk too long. And every
now and then I wonder what I want them to say. Tell
them not to mention that I have a Nobel Peace
Prize—that isn’t important. Tell them not to mention
that I have three or four hundred other
awards—that’s not important. Tell them not to
mention where I went to school.
I'd like somebody
to mention that day that Martin Luther King, Jr.,
tried to give his life serving others. I'd like for
somebody to say that day that Martin Luther King,
Jr., tried to love somebody; tried to be right on
the war question; tried to feed the hungry, clothe
those who were naked, visit those who were in
prison, and tried to love and serve humanity.”
These are people
who clearly had a mission, clearly called by God. .
. nothing I could ever compare to.
I found myself
wrestling and asking “Why me Lord?....why me?”
Then in the still
of the night, I heard God’s answer, not any audible
way, yet it was there, difficult to explain I heard
the following:
Are unbelievers
given a reason to believe?
Are the homeless
given shelter?
Are the prisoners
being visited in prison?
Are our neighbors
being comforted in their sorrow?
Are the hungry
given food to eat?
The list goes on
and on.
Are the oppressed
liberated?
Are those that live
on the margins loved?
Do all the little
children have shoes upon their feet?
The answer is a
resounding no! Yet, it’s as if I found myself
wrestling with God and saying “hey, it’s not my
job…you’ve picked the wrong person. I’m outta here”,
and off I went to pursue my life, fulfilling my
wants and my desires.
Through the years,
I’ve come to realize that some will answer Gods’
call without flinching, not even giving it a second
thought, some….like me….will run like the wind which
brings me to what I call the Jonah syndrome.
The word of the
Lord came to Jonah saying “go at once to Nineveh,
that great city, and cry out against it; for their
wickedness has come up before me.” (Jonah 1.2) But
Jonah, instead of saying “Yes Lord,” chose to flee
from God and hide aboard a ship. . . as if one can
hide from God. While on this ship, God pursued Jonah
and made the seas angry endangering all the lives
aboard the ship. Finally Jonah begs to be thrown
overboard, the sailors did not think long before
doing so.
In times as we know
them, this may have been the end of Jonahs life and
the story, but with God all things are possible and
the next thing you know, God sends a great fish to
swallow up Jonah. Now I don’t know what kind of fish
this great fish is. It is often thought of as a
whale.
In my mind it is
difficult to picture a whale just floating along on
top of the water peacefully swimming around.
Instead I envision
Johan being tossed about dodging other bits of fish
food and floundering with every breath the whale
takes in.
Depending on
the type of whale, it can consume up to 551 pounds
of food a day consisting of krill, plankton, and
other small fish such as herring and mackerel. They
are gulpers, swim and gulp, swim and gulp, as they
are gulping the fish, they are certainly gulping in
large amounts of water.
It is not hard to imagine Jonah flailing about in
the stinking belly of this huge fish.
Sooner or later,
the whale has its fill and calms down a bit . . . at
those times I can imagine that Jonah did a lot of
heavy thinking.
After the third day
of this turmoil, Jonah prayed fervently. Upon
hearing this prayer, God caused the whale to vomit
him up, and then God spoke to Johan once more,
telling him again to go to Nineveh and preach
repentance, this time Jonah responded differently.
This is what I call
the Jonah Syndrome, running from God’s call,
wrestling with God, turning myself inside and out,
then finally responding and accepting this call.
Some like Jonah,
have the total picture after this struggle and
immediately know what they are called to do. Then
there was me with only a partial picture.
I don’t think I
heard the call in its entirety, it’s kind of like,
“okay God I’ve been called, I’ll figure out what you
want me to do and get right on it.” It took me many
more years to realize that I was not going to figure
this out on my own, only through prayer and the
grace of God was I able to truly hear and feel Gods
calling.
It has been a long
journey and there are times I’ve been discouraged in
following that call. Just cresting the half way mark
in seminary, it feels like I cannot see the light of
the tunnel where I entered and I don’t see the light
at the end of the tunnel yet God continues to give
me strength to respond, encouragement to press
forward, and a heart and ears to listen and receive
this calling, even in my weakest, darkest moments.
In these weak and
dark moments, I don’t want to end back up in the
belly of another huge fish, so much like Samuel I
had to learn to stop, listen, and respond.
In rereading the
book of Samuel in chapter 3 I am reminded that
Samuel was called to be a prophet while he was still
a boy. “Samuel! Samuel!’ a voice called out. Samuel
thought that his mentor Eli called him from the next
room . .. Samuel ran to Eli and said, “Here I am,
you called me.” But Eli said, “No”. This happened a
second and third time. Finally Eli sent him back to
lie down again and if he heard the voice again, he
should say, “Speak, Lord, for your servant is
listening.” The fourth time Samuel heard the call
and responded as Eli had said.
For me, this is
great news! God keeps calling me to me. I know that
I am called to continue the work of Jesus.
Jesus understood
this and called disciples to share in his ministry
with the intention that they would carry it on long
after he was gone. Marks’ writing reminds me that as
Jesus walked along the Sea of Galilee, he saw two
brothers, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his
brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were
fishermen by trade. Then Jesus said to them: “Follow
me, and I will make you fish for people.” (Mark
1.16-18)
It is unclear if
they realized this at the time, but Jesus was doing
just that when he called them…he was fishing for
people. Jesus was calling them to follow . . . to
become disciples . . . to focus their lives on God
and on the good news of the kingdom. Jesus was
calling them to a life of challenge filled with
hope, empowerment, and to a life of service and
love.
It has taken me
several years, but I think I finally get it. . . it
is in the midst of life that God comes to us and
calls us. It is in the midst of life’s’ most
ordinary situations that this most unordinary thing
happens and people are called and whether listening
or not. God continues to call me to be partners with
God in bringing compassion, justice, and hope to the
world.
Now, I simply
respond with “Yes God”. I think I get it, speak your
servant is listening, use me as your vessel. Help me
to:
Give unbelievers a
reason to believe.
Give shelter to the
homeless.
Provide clean homes
to the homebound and invalids.
Provide visitors to
those in prison.
Comfort my
neighbors in time of sorrow.
Feed the hungry.
Liberate the
oppressed.
Love those on the
margins.
Put shoes upon the
feet of children.
Teach me to teach
others.
Be with me as I
share the Good News in action and word.
I don’t wish my
journey on anyone for it has been a true wrestling
match, a journey inside the belly of a whale. A
journey I had to take in order to learn to sit and
listen in awesome wonder of the One who created us.
This journey and calling has just begun.
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